Today In Dystopian War Robots That Will Harvest Us For Our Organs…

Oh, hey, puny human. What’s up. Not much, right? Well enjoy the brief respite between now and the rise of our robotic overlords, something we call TIDWRTWHUFOO. Your first nemesis? Proton, the surprisingly realistic robotic man.

This robot is actually being used to test military equipment for strain and wear and mimics the movements of a real human. By using Proton, militaries can see where clothing needs repair and what a helmet or backpack will do to a soldier’s skin. But once this guy figures out how to get off of that gantry, watch out. He’s going to be PO’d from all the chafing.

We’ve talked about Atlas the humanoid robot for a while now, but it seems that the good folks at MIT and Boston Dynamics are about to cut him from his tethers and let him walk around, unaided. Not a good thing, right? Right. Atlas will soon be the Emperor of an encroaching robot army. Mark my words.

Finally we present the Arm3, a trainer robot by MarginallyClever. The robot can mimic the motions of a human trainer and can be taught to write using an ink pen in order to draft a new human/robot peace treaty that the robots will inevitably break.

Good luck out there, meatsticks! Don’t let them snap into the Slim-Jim of your neck!

Today In Dystopian War Robots That Will Harvest Us For Our Organs…

In the year 2000 (well, more like 2020, at this rate), we TIDWRTWHUFOO fans will be able to ride six-wheeled robotic rovers into battle, our shorts flapping around our chicken legs, our friends hooting as we fall on our butts. But then the tides will turn and the robots will begin riding us. Their laughter, mechanical and strange, will haunt our sleepless nights as we are forced to carry them ever further into the darkness of a benighted earth.

Anyway, watch Rusty of SuperDroidRobots get tossed off a drone.

Festo, makers of the elephant trunk robot we featured a few weeks ago, have created this amazing little robotic kangaroo for you and yours. This little robot mimics actual kangaroos and, barring the addition of laser cannons or a missile launcher, will be perfectly harmless when the robots take over the earth.

Finally we have the Pi Bot, a DIY kit for kids who want to learn Raspberry Pi robotics. While I’m all for STEM education, I can’t support teaching our kids how to build the very things that will soon lead to their doom, namely simple robots that can follow lines and “listen” to their surroundings. But they sure look fun, don’t they?

Today In Dystopian War Robots That Will Harvest Us For Our Organs…

Ready to be exterminated, puny flesh bag? TIDWRTWHUFOO thinks so! Today’s robots will walk all over your heart, face, and stomach and, more importantly, smile while they do it!

First, check out this robot that will polish metal and other materials with human-like motions to ensure the object doesn’t get worn down, broken, or ruined. It’s pretty great for humans because the robots can easily replace us at simple tasks and eventually take all of our jobs, leaving us cold and in the streets!

Once you’re out of a job, however, maybe you’ll have some time to play soccer or dance? Nope! The robots took that over, too. NAO is a simple, humanoid robot by RobotsLab that is popular with researchers. They’ve taught it to do all sorts of exciting things including replace human beings in having fun.

If you’re looking for a robot that will eventually eat you like a banana, look no further than the iStruct. This amazing bot can balance on all fours or rear up to smash you and yours in fits of rage.

And finally we meet a robot that can solve a Rubik’s Cube in 3 seconds, a feat that is now a world record. Why is this important? Because it’s clear that the creators, David Gilday and Mike Dobson, have no regard for human life and are willing to sell our heritage to the robots for pennies because they are enabling these things to best us in feats of geometrical puzzle-solving. For shame, collaborators!